Spirit of the Child

From "Petals - The Journey" Symphony No. 2 - 5^th Movement.

It was not easy to come back to this track, it has no poem that I know of in my waking life…

It was a fog that appeared, but I was outside, too scared to enter.

After I’ve been on the “Strange old Path” and became familiar with old faces again, welcoming me back, helping me to cope with all the changes that came during my absence, it is now obvious that it was only preparing me for the next movement – facing the part I’ve cut out of my life.

The child I was. I had to become her again to find my whole being.

I saw the chapters of her life in the fog but I was too scared to enter.

While reacting with her, I remained on my side.

Yet, the child made me strong as I observed her strength and the protection she had.

Memories were painful to me, but not to her. She had always been happy, regardless of circumstance. She always found a way to make herself happy.

I knew I had to live like her again, escape into that world of make-believe and be happy, carefree.

I was exhausted after this composition, tired even right into my soul. I was not sure if I’d be able to cope with this surge of music anymore, it would sometimes wake me up, sounding like a real orchestra playing. Beautiful and all, but it was beginning to take the life out of me.

I’d be having a quick go at it during my first coffee very early in the morning when all was quiet. And there were other music stories that also came during those days, I just had to take all possible time I had to let it out.

My own music haunted me, it became as a nightmare. I didn’t want to go on anymore. I didn’t mind to compose happy stories, inspirations and so, but this new bundle of music came without warning. I never even thought when I began on the first movement, that it was going to go on and on and on, draining the life out of me.

When I reached the final measures of this piece I was in rags, the flesh off my bones. But left with great wonder.

Extracts from the album with some of the poems and prose at YouTube