(I never
thought of publishing this after jotting it down on 19 July 2013 but after a
recent ‘discussion’ one year later, it became clear to me that it is perfectly normal to go
into a ‘state’ as I so often do. I also touched it in a previous post under "Music in the Fog" of “why
is it music in the fog”, of what I experience how this happens – I was just a bit surprised that the person who
suggested this, couldn’t figure out that it is exactly what I do… surely most
creators do it in any case, we become absent minded from reality as we 'dream' while awake. I can spot it in an instant from another being.)
My
inquisitive mind has always been like that. All the reason then also for
appreciating so many people and things in my life.
I learned
to hear the unspoken word, I learned to see in more than three dimensions and
the full force of all my senses would come together and lift to exhilarating heights,
taking me with, allowing me to see and hear beyond the beyond.
Which of
course lead me to see what I hear, hear what I see, and live in the magnificence
of all it all. I have been applying this rule to my musical side for as long as
I remember. It began the first time ‘thunder’ silenced me. I escaped into my
make believe world, far more intense than just seeing characters forming in the
clouds above as many people do….
What will
be my biggest orchestra? It will probably stretch from one hill down a valley
to another hill but thinking over how large distance two birds can talk to each
other, my orchestra will still be too small.
That is the
magnificence of it. To listen and hear, close my eyes and see what my ears
listen to. I would look at patterns of Nature, close my ears to noise and I'll
hear what I look at.
Stepping
into this is yet a mystery to me has taken me on many journeys without even taking
a single physical step. A simple explanation is probably that I'd hear birds,
begin listening to them and would 'wake up' later! Once a friend told me
"You were talking with that bird and he was talking to you - it was so
nice". This happened to me with a blackbird in a public place once, and when
I 'woke up' my backside was painful from sitting on a cement flower box or
something, which didn't matter so much but it cleared my mind and I stared at
people who stared back at me and I was feeling a bit stupid - sheepish....
But, I
eventually shrugged it off, thinking that I don't really care what the people
might have been thinking, maybe there were a few who liked it as the friend
did, but I enjoyed it and the bird enjoyed it. We shared a lot of stories with
each other, crossed great distances together.
The thing
is just that this STOP to listen chooses me, it would take me so suddenly that
I don't even have a moment to be surprised. It is just the most beautiful
dimension that opens up, absorbs me, carries me all over, revealing things I
can look at and when I 'wake up' it feels as if I have had a most pleasurable
holiday, I always feel so refreshed afterwards.
Afterwards I would be
writing a poem, paint or sketch and music will be in me, a whole bunch of ways
to communicate it in a human way.
To be able
to communicate it all in music has become my favourite medium, I can paint a
much bigger picture, speak so many more words in one measure. And I always
loved music.
♫ All because
of the way the birds taught me ♫
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