Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Understanding my gifts

There were times the past few months when I often tried to understand why I have this gift of knowing music without having studied it as other humans did.
I never thought about it like this before, to me it was just a normal thing, hearing music, understanding it, knowing how it will sound in a big orchestra that can mimic it all, etc etc etc.....
Until I (accidentally) found out WHAT people have to study to obtain this knowledge. I became a bit concerned, do I know enough? I had only one year of piano lessons over forty years ago....

Recent experiences though, made me realize that I don't need to try and understand, I had this knowledge already as others before me had it, an instinct or whatever. Our kind don't learn it, we just have it, know it, live it.

I learned the difference between performers and creators - some performers and conductors can interpret another one's creation. Most can not, they do it according to the book and what they THINK is correct. They never get into the soul of the creator.

This 'book' has borders, a creator does not have borders.

Imagine giving Rembrandt only white, red and blue to paint with, or tell Salvador Dali to limit his paintings to half of the canvas only. We'd never have the full picture as intended by these creators.

This came to my mind a lot after I realized that some of the book educated couldn't puzzle out my techniques and would recommend that which they have learned as to be the correct way.

At first it felt like the 'do I know enough' rolled in on me like a stormy cloud. I was totally disappointed, but it didn't stop me to analyze the concept.

I was surprised and humbled. I suddenly knew what I do in and with my music is quite unknown. Very few so far could clutch in - and those few are creators, not performers.

The fact that I make the best with what I have available, which is really grassroots, is not understood by the 'book' learned won't worry me anymore. I only research a bit to get technical stuff in order such as music articulation, NOT METHODS because I have my own methods.

I am new, my music is new, not influenced by anything else than raw, true, own passions from my heart and experiences. And this does not exist in 'their books' yet.

No comments:

Post a Comment